Life Changes

What is a it like to discover who you are and where you belong in the world...at 57 years old? It's fun, a daily discovery, and totally frightening!!! After many years of living in the shadow of an abusive parent and then spending years having that voice in my head tell me over and over again how stupid I was and being afraid of the results of that in my relationships - in the world that surrounded me, and sometimes closed in on me.

Well, now I am finding my way out of that maze having fun standing up for who I am and feeling totally alive for the first time. Since then I have made discoveries about myself that were both exciting, and truly terrifying at the same time. A scary part of the "new" me came when I saw my anger with people's negativity, as well as those who reject people - for any reason.

So I decided that I needed a mission statement - something to help me focus my energies with those feelings. My statement is simple, and yet it is the focus of my every day life today and from now on..."Kindness is the highest form of intelligence, and I need to practice it with everyone - including me, everyday for the rest of my life." I even have to remember in my zeal for kindness that I need to consider that kindness means caring about other people's feelings and not getting fanatical to the point of being pushy or angry at the person who doesn't see things my way.

I'm learning, and often see the changes but sometimes I feel like I've lost so much over the years. I have to admit that I like being where I am at this time in my life and life is a constant discovery of who I really am and how I can change my world even at my age!!!